Kids, family, and shared devices

Helen’s kitchen iPad sat on the island at 9:40 p.m., still signed into ChatGPT Plus under her work email. Her 12-year-old, Theo, had opened a new chat for a science paragraph on volcanoes. The sidebar listed last Tuesday’s thread: “Q3 OKRs, do not paste outside leadership.” He tapped it. The first line was her headcount target. The second named a warehouse vendor finance had not seen. Theo called “Mom, what’s a ramp?” from the stool with the wobbly leg. She crossed the tile in four steps and closed the tab. The volcano paragraph was still in the composer. The OKRs were in the same account.

This is Part 29 of Phase P, and Part 4 of AI safety for everyday life. Last time was Health, legal, and money: hard limits. Next is Jobs and AI: skills that still matter. Earlier safety parts covered scams and deepfakes and school honesty and citations. The account split lives in personal vs work accounts and 2FA, recovery, and shared plans. Local models sit in the older privacy tutorial. The rest of the path is on Learn and Practical AI.

What you’ll learn

• Why a kitchen iPad signed into “the house ChatGPT” shows a child last week’s work files and Memory
• How shared login, separate accounts, and a supervised teen path differ on chats, billing, and the device
• Which age gates apply as of writing: ChatGPT under 13, ChatGPT teens with parental controls, Claude at 18, Gemini and Family Link
• How to put a child Apple ID and Screen Time on an iPad (Family Link does not supervise iPads)
• A fridge card of household rules: no personal data, no stranger links, parent can see the thread in the room

One login is one person’s cabinet

Helen did not set up a family product. She left a logged-in, laptop-class chat on a tablet that lives next to the fruit bowl. Plus, Memory, uploaded PDFs, custom GPTs, and the sidebar all belong to the email that paid. Theo was not in a kid mode. He was Helen.

A shared login is convenient in the way a shared email password is convenient. Everyone can send. Everyone can read. OpenAI’s consumer terms, as of writing, want you to keep credentials to yourself. The kitchen workaround still happens because nobody wants a second $20 line. The cost you skip shows up as OKRs on a 12-year-old’s screen.

Work vs personal already had a split in Part 9 of setup. This is the home version. The iPad is a device. ChatGPT is an identity. Safari AutoFill and an app that never signs out glue them together.

Rule of thumb: If you would not leave the OKR doc open on the island, do not leave ChatGPT signed in on the island.

History, Memory, and files share a brain

OpenAI’s Memory FAQ is usefully dull. If you tell ChatGPT something, that something can land in Memory. Temporary Chat does not use existing memories and does not create new ones. A normal Plus thread on a shared login does both. Helen’s spouse Pat cooked gluten-free lasagna on Sunday in the same account. By Monday a work draft about a client lunch offered oat milk without being asked. Harmless. The same pipe will store “we are cutting two contractor rows in Q3” if she typed it once.

History is the visible version. The sidebar is a table of contents for whoever holds the glass. A title like “Q3 OKRs, do not paste outside leadership” is a dare, not a lock. Files stay attached. Custom GPTs keep her tone. Group chats, in OpenAI’s own write-up, are a separate room and do not pull personal Memory into the group. That does not help Theo. He was in her private sidebar, on her iPad, as her user.

You can turn Memory off. That is a setting, not a household. The next person can turn it back on. Sign out. That is the control that matches the furniture.

Shared login vs separate accounts vs a supervised plan

Three shapes. Only one should be the default in a house with kids. As of writing there is still no cheap consumer “ChatGPT Family” product the way Apple One shares storage. Parental controls on ChatGPT link a parent and a teen. They do not merge the sidebars. ChatGPT Business (the old Team plan, renamed) is per-seat and built for workspaces, not a volcano paragraph. Do not buy seats to babysit. Buy seats if two adults at work need two logins.

Supervised means two layers: a vendor teen account with parental controls, and a device account with Screen Time. The iPad can be locked down and still have Helen’s Plus in Safari. The teen ChatGPT account can be linked and still live on an unsupervised tablet in a backpack. Stack both.

Age gates, as of writing

Toggles move. Confirm the help page the week you click. These are the official lines on the vendor sites in this window, not a vibe.

ChatGPT: not a product for under 13

OpenAI’s age article says ChatGPT is not meant for children under 13. Ages 13 to 18 need a parent or guardian’s permission. The consumer terms match that: at least 13 (or the digital-consent age in your country), and under 18 needs permission. If a school wants a model in the room for younger kids, OpenAI’s guidance is that an adult runs the interaction. Theo is 12. He should not have a personal ChatGPT account, and he should not be Helen’s Plus on the island. Homework help is Helen sitting down, opening a Temporary Chat on her laptop, pasting the volcano prompt, and reading the answer with him. Then she closes it.

For teens, OpenAI rolled out parental controls (announced late 2025) and, as of writing, a ChatGPT for Teens experience with stronger default filters. A parent or the teen can send an invite. You link accounts. Each teen links to one parent at a time. From Settings you can manage selected features, set Quiet Hours, and get safety notifications in limited high-risk cases. Teens can disconnect. You get told if they do.

Those controls are settings and alerts. OpenAI’s parent materials do not give you a live feed of every prompt. The household rule “parent can see the thread” is you, in the kitchen, looking at the glass. Link the accounts when Theo turns 13. Keep the sit-with rule. They solve different jobs.

Claude is 18 and up

Anthropic’s consumer product is for people 18 or older. Help-center copy as of writing: you affirm you are 18 when you create the account, and they disable accounts they confirm belong to minors. The iOS and Android apps can also block sign-in when the App Store or Play Store has that Apple or Google account as under 18, including child accounts inside Family Sharing or Family Link. Do not install Claude on the kitchen iPad for homework. If an adult wants Claude, that adult uses their own laptop, the way Part 7 of setup already described.

Gemini and Family Link

Google’s Gemini apps, as of writing, want you 13 or the applicable age in your country for a personal or school account (18 for a work account). Family Link is Google’s supervision layer for a child’s Google Account: screen time, app approvals, some content filters, password resets. Two catches matter in Helen’s kitchen. First, Google’s Family Link help says iPhones, iPads, and computers other than Chromebooks cannot be supervised with Family Link. The kitchen iPad is an Apple problem. Second, Gemini’s sign-in help still says you cannot use the Gemini web app with a Google Account managed by Family Link, and parents can turn Gemini Apps off for younger supervised users. “The house Gemini in Safari, signed into Helen’s Gmail” is the same class of mistake as “the house ChatGPT.”

Fix the iPad, then the chat

Helen’s Plus lived in two places: the ChatGPT iOS app, and Safari with the password saved. Signing out of one leaves the other. Treat both.

Give the kitchen iPad a child Apple Account inside Family Sharing. Apple’s Screen Time article (updated July 2026) is the map: from your iPhone, Settings, Screen Time, the child’s name. Downtime after homework. App Limits on ChatGPT, Safari, and Files. Content and Privacy Restrictions so a 12-year-old cannot install a new chatbot at 9:40 p.m. Ask to Buy if you pay for apps. The Screen Time passcode is yours. If Theo knows it, you have a suggestion, not a control.

If the iPad currently uses Helen’s Apple ID because “it’s the house tablet,” that is how photos, iCloud Drive, and saved passwords leaked into the same glass as the volcano paragraph. A child Apple ID is boring to set up. It is also the difference between a shared cookie jar and a shared work laptop.

On Android or a Chromebook, Family Link is the matching tool: daily limits, app blocks, Play approvals. Use it there. Do not expect it to reach the iPad. Two kinds of device means two dashboards. Annoying. Still cheaper than explaining a headcount target to a sixth grader.

A household rules card

Settings rot. A card on the fridge does not. Print this, fill the brackets, tape it at kid height so Theo can read it without unlocking anything.

HOUSEHOLD AI CARD (tape to the fridge)
Kitchen iPad Apple ID: [Theo child account, NEVER Helen work]
ChatGPT / Claude / Gemini on this iPad: signed OUT
Helen’s Plus lives on: [her laptop only]
Homework chat: parent sits at the island, Temporary Chat, Memory off
Do not paste: names of classmates, addresses, IDs, report cards, work files
Do not open: links from strangers, Discord, or group chats we did not start
Theo (12): no personal ChatGPT or Claude account
At 13: own email, ChatGPT parental controls linked, sit-with rule stays
Claude: adults 18+ only
Parent can see any thread before it is closed
Owner of the bill: [Helen]
Sign-out check: every night at 9:00 p.m., before the iPad goes on the charger

What that card does: it names the device account, the vendor account, the age gate, and the in-person check in one place. If the iPad is still in Helen’s Apple ID, the first line fails and you fix that before you argue about volcano facts. If ChatGPT is still signed in at 9:00 p.m., the last line fails and you sign out before you sleep.

The “no stranger links” line is the quiet sibling of Part 1 of this series. A Discord “study GPT” URL is a phishing tab with homework branding. A parent in the chair is the filter.

Worked example: Helen’s 9:40 p.m. sidebar

Here is what was in the Plus account when Theo opened volcanoes. Toy labels, same shape as a real kitchen.

Fix, in order, that night. Sign out of ChatGPT on the iPad (app and Safari). Delete the saved password for chatgpt.com in Settings, Passwords. Turn off AutoFill for that site. Move the iPad onto Theo’s child Apple ID if it is still on Helen’s. Set Downtime at 9:00 p.m. and an App Limit of zero for ChatGPT. On Helen’s laptop, open Memory and delete the gluten-free fact if she does not want it. Leave work threads on the laptop. For the volcano paragraph she sits down, starts Temporary Chat, pastes Theo’s three bullet notes (magma, shield vs composite, one local example), and they write the paragraph together. She does not make him an account. She does not leave the laptop open on the island.

Monday morning she can tell finance the vendor shortlist never left her seat, which is now true. Theo’s science teacher gets a paragraph a parent watched get drafted, which also satisfies the honesty line from Part 2 of this series.

Common mistakes

• Putting a child Apple ID on the iPad and leaving Helen’s ChatGPT session in Safari. Device account and vendor account are two locks.
• Entering 13 as the birthday so a 12-year-old can “have their own Plus.” That is a terms violation and it wipes the age-gate you wanted.
• Installing Claude on the kitchen iPad because the Free cap on ChatGPT felt low. Claude’s consumer app is 18 and up.
• Expecting Google Family Link to supervise the iPad. It will not. Use Apple Screen Time there.
• Buying ChatGPT Business seats and calling them a family plan. Separate seats are good for adults at work. They are not a child product, and they still mix if one adult shares a password.
• Trusting OpenAI parental controls as a transcript dump. Link them at 13. Still sit in the chair.
• Pasting a classmate roster, a report card, or a work OKR into a homework chat because the iPad was already open.

How to practice this week

Tonight, 15 minutes. Pick up every shared tablet and phone in the kitchen. If ChatGPT, Claude, or Gemini is signed in as an adult, sign out. Delete saved passwords for those sites on that device. If the tablet is on an adult Apple ID, start Family Sharing and a child Apple Account, then turn on Screen Time from your phone. Fill the fridge card. Run one homework sit-with: Temporary Chat, Memory off, parent in the chair, thread closed before the charger.

If Theo is already 13 this year, create his ChatGPT account with his own email, send the parental-controls invite from Settings, set Quiet Hours that match bedtime, and keep the sit-with rule for schoolwork. Re-read citations before the next lab report. Next in this series is Jobs and AI: skills that still matter (Part 5). The hub is AI safety for everyday life. Account hygiene that is still messy belongs in Part 7 of setup, not in a second Plus login on the island.

Quick recap

• A kitchen iPad signed into Plus is the adult’s file cabinet. Sign out.
• History, Memory, and uploads follow the login, not the person holding the glass.
• No personal ChatGPT account under 13. Claude is 18+. Gemini plus Family Link has its own blocks.
• Child Apple ID and Screen Time on the iPad. Family Link for Android, not for iPad.
• Fridge card: no personal data, no stranger links, parent can see the thread in the room.

Sources

Research and further reading used for this article:

• OpenAI Help: Is ChatGPT safe for all ages? (not meant for under 13; 13 to 18 need parental consent; adult-run use in younger education settings)
• OpenAI Terms of Use (minimum age 13 or local digital-consent age; under 18 needs a parent or guardian’s permission; keep the account to yourself)
• OpenAI Help: Parental controls in ChatGPT (link a parent and a teen, manage selected settings, schedules, limited safety notifications)
• OpenAI: Introducing parental controls and ChatGPT parent resources (Quiet Hours, teen experience, what parents can manage)
• OpenAI Help: Memory FAQ (Memory can store what you share; Temporary Chat skips it)
• OpenAI: Group chats in ChatGPT (group chats are separate from private Memory; parents can disable group chats in parental controls)
• OpenAI usage policies (minors deserve extra protection; do not use the services to endanger anyone under 18)
• Anthropic: Protecting the wellbeing of our users and Claude Help: Minimum age requirement (Claude.ai is 18+; app stores and family groups can block sign-in)
• Google: Get started with Family Link (child Google Accounts, screen time, apps; iPhone and iPad cannot be supervised with Family Link)
• Google Family Link (parent dashboard for time limits, apps, account settings)
• Google: What you need to sign in to Gemini Apps (13+ for personal or school; Family Link managed accounts cannot use the Gemini web app; parents can turn Gemini off)
• Apple: Use Screen Time to manage your child’s iPhone or iPad and Apple: Set up Family Sharing (child Apple Account, Downtime, App Limits, Content and Privacy Restrictions)
• AMS: AI safety for everyday life (this series)

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